We Can't Throw Trans People Under the Bus

It's not just inhumane, immoral, and counter to egalitarian ideology. It's dangerous to concede these battles because it gives the Right more room to oppress all of us.

Photo by Thiago Rocha on Unsplash

Nancy Mace and some other Republican Congresspeople have been complaining about Sarah McBride being allowed to use the ladies’ room in Congress, and some Democrats and Left-leaning commentators have been agreeing. Today I saw a thoughtful person suggest that maybe we on the left need to chill on the whole bathroom thing. They argued that, after all, most people in the US aren't quite understanding the nuances when it comes to this issue, so we should not fight them over it. On top of that, there are plenty of other influential people who are saying that maybe we have gotten too woke, and we need to stop it with the identity politics.

And these people are all wrong. Look, it's a bit of a touchy subject for me since I'm Genderfluid and I have three close friends who are trans, and know a half a dozen others, at least. But, let's just put aside whether we like trans people and what we know about them, for the sake of this argument. Maybe you don’t like trans people, or are concerned about some women feeling unsafe sharing locker rooms and bathrooms with trans women. Even if you think it’s a bit “too woke” to just let trans women do all the things cis women do, the reasons to stand with trans people are important to all of us. In my previous article I wrote about how anti-trans policies can become a threat to privacy, and easily slip into heavy surveillance for all of us. In this piece, I want to talk about why it is an issue of equality, a value that I assume all leftists hold dear. 

See, letting a little transphobia happen cause it's "nuanced" or "complicated" is functionally equivalent to saying that it's okay to accommodate white people who are scared of Black folks, cause, after all, Blacks commit more crimes. So maybe we do need to let some discrimination happen to assuage white people’s fears. Yeah, we leftists know it's more nuanced than that, but not everyone understands…. We know about systemic oppression, and that Black communities are over-policed. White people like me don't clutch their handbag when they see a Black person walk towards them. We also know a majority of Ameircans hold shitty racist attitudes, so we should just shut up about race, about identity politics, because it's a losing issue, right?

If that question at the end sounded unhinged, it's because it is. We must fight racism whenever, wherever. Yeah, even within ourselves, sometimes. I know I had (and probably still have hiding in some corners) some internalized misogyny, racism, and fat-phobia. We pick stuff up from our environment, and there is always more to learn. 

But, you know, it's a worthwhile fight, to let our oppressors know that we will not be oppressed and divided. It's up to us to call out supremacist and oppressive behavior wherever we see it. And we definitely have to put our foot down when it comes to legislation. We cannot let them have a few things here and there that target entire groups of people. It's not only immoral and against our ideology, it's dangerous, cause the game the Right plays is to scapegoat and distract. 

We also can't let them control the narrative. They made the last few elections hinge around this stuff. The Harris campaign didn't mention any identity issues, but the Trump campaign certainly did. And there was no push back, because the Dems are doing what they always do: cave, compromise, assuage, pretend they have the moral high ground cause decorum and respectability. They wouldn't want to be mistaken for a Left-wing party (we on the Left know they're not Left, and people on the far Right think they're Commies, so, you know, it's a strategy that isn't working anyway).

And here I'll justify why I believe some of these political dynamics fall under the header of “relationships” -- the putative theme of this here “publication.” See, if you have been abused, or bullied, you probably recognize what's happening. When you're being hurt, you try to appease the bully. You walk on eggshells to prevent their ire. You start acquiescing to more and more unreasonable demands because each individual demands seems like a small sacrifice. And then, months or years later, you don't recognize yourself anymore. And the abuser is still abusing you, because they aren't really interested in whatever they are telling you that you can do or not do. It's about power and control. They want you to be scared, but they also want you to be preoccupied with all their rules. They want your life to be centered around them, their needs, and their endless entitlement to your time, body, and mind. 

Makes sense, right? Some commentators are busy pointing out the hypocrisy of Trump allowing a trans woman to participate in a Miss America pageant, while he now broadly condemns trans people — but Trump doesn't give a shit about any of it. He doesn't care about abortion, or child abuse, or trans people. He cares about these things because he has found he can use them to manipulate people, and appear as a moral person. He uses them to make us uncomfortable and second-guess ourselves. He wants us to fight among each other, particularly when the bickering happens between people in the same general camp. Nothing more useful to dismiss us than when we can't agree with each other on basic human rights. And while we're over here fighting about trans folks, he's over there doing more nefarious shit that we may not notice until it's too late. 

If you have never been the victim of abuse, or if you wonder if maybe you are/were, i heartily recommend Lundy Bancroft ‘s book “Why Does He Do That?” It has made a huge difference in my life, really unpacking a lot of stuff I didn't quite understand. It has given me so much clarity, so much more insight in why people do what they do…. 

So, anyway, when we allow them to control the narrative and bring trans “issues” to the forefront, when we don't swiftly shut them down as they say bigoted shit… We are letting them walk all over us. We are showing them we are willing to compromise on fundamentals. We even give them ammunition to call us hypocrites when we say that equality is our central tenet. It's also super dumb cause the people who get thrown under the bus, and their friends and allies, are not super likely to vote for you the next time around. 

If you're not yet convinced, let me give you another similarity. The people crying about not feeling safe in the bathroom are white women. Don't let the fact that they're women fool you. They are not “unsafe,” and they don't need extraordinary protection in this context. There is zero evidence of trans women assaulting cis women in bathrooms. I also doubt Nancy Mace called herself a feminist at any other time but when she was complaining about a trans woman using her same bathroom. This is a technique white women have used to suck up to power for ages. In racist America it was often women who would get Black men killed by alleging rape or the threat of rape. And the white men were all too eager to kill Black men under the guise that they were tasked to be protectors of the weaker sex. 

When slavery ended, many states and localities attempted to “protect” white people through segregation. They insisted Black people we equal — they just didn't want them to scare the ladies. They couldn’t allow them to use the same facilities as white people because Blacks just aren't sophisticated enough to value hygiene. It was just regional custom to have Blacks be separated, and no doubt it would be safer for everyone to keep Blacks from whites so that there wouldn’t be any violence. On and on, shitty excuses they had for justifying oppressing a whole group of people.

But thanks to the activism of a whole lot of people, most of us these days find segregation wrong, distasteful, and absurd. And, when peaceful protests were started, I'm sure that bus or lunch counter seating were not the most pressing issues the Black community faced, at the time. One would be forgiven for thinking “just let them have the stupid whites-only area.” And I'm sure plenty of people thought “Yeah, racism is awful, but this is a racist country, and siding with Black people over these relatively minor issues loses us elections.” We had Dixiecrats aligning with the Democratic Party on everything but segregation, saying States should regulate matters of segregation. And of course there were a lot more serious issues when it came to segregation, it wasn’t just bathrooms, lunch counters, or bus seats. I am mentioning the more “frivolous” aspects, which were among the first things to get tackled to end segregation.

We all know now that segregation was awful, and it created an atmosphere in which racism could thrive. Perhaps more importantly, Black people felt dehumanized and scared. And acquiescing to white people telling them that they were not welcome in some situations diminished them as people, and excluded them from broader political power. It's no coincidence that Civil Rights evolved into Black Power --it isn't just about rights, being included. It's about power. Pride. It's a process internal and political. It's both about who we are and how we relate to each other. 

And we know that identity is a thing that is used to divide us. Right now we are hearing the argument that the “Identitarian Left” is ruining the Progressive Left’s chances to move things forward. Identity politics are being blamed for Harris’ loss.
And, look, I'd like for identity not to matter. I do prefer addressing more fundamental material issues, like, say, protecting Social Security, or Medicare for all. To be honest, I'd rather be concerned about the future of the entire human race, rather than having to think about feminism, LGBTQ rights, etc. I am part of several oppressed groups, but I'd rather focus on what makes us human. I'm not eager to flash my oppression street cred. I don't enjoy being a victim. 

But this doesn't mean identity doesn't matter. It matters because we have centuries of damage to redress. It matters because every one of us needs to learn that we are, first and foremost, human beings — and we cannot do that as long as supremacist ideas go unchallenged. I don't remember who I heard say this, but it stuck with me, “Trusting your instinct is usually just following your bigotry.” “Common sense and tradition are just stand-ins for hegenonic culture.” Dismantling oppressive power structures is impossible if we're not seeing them and naming them. In the United States, identity is also usually linked to economic status, so the two things move in tandem.

So, look, I'm not trying to say that trans people are just like Black people. The particular suffering visited upon African Americans in this country is far more pernicious. And, most of the time, you can tell someone's skin color without asking them to show you a body part, or papers. I'm just drawing a parallel with racial segregation because it illustrates why we cannot sacrifice a little bit of trans humanity to appease the Right and move on to dealing with the business of the Congress. It is against our convictions, and it will do no good for anyone. It will be particularly terrifying and demoralizing for us trans folks to know that we are being sacrificed for a fictitious greater good. 

Sure, bigotry runs rampant in this country, but shoving people back in the closet just emboldens our opponents, and weakens our coalition. 

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